Wednesday, June 29, 2005

*Spoof letter*

Dear Sir,

I write in with immense concern about the possibility of an endemic of cancer if the government does not step in to regulate a well-known carcinogen (cancer causing agent).

What is worse is that it has been appearing in many seemingly innocucous places up to and including fastfood restaurants, bakeries and even healthfood places unwittingly promugating this dangerous menace.

The carcinogen of which I speak of is Aspartame, a natural sweetener that is nothing more than a honey pot leading to a slow painful death. The FDA itself admits in an email in 1999 that "aspartame ingestion results in the production of methanol, formaldehyde and formate. These claims are factual." What is even more disturbing is that they go on to admit that the levels that we consume in citrus fruits and juices and even in tomatoes and such sauces contain even higher levels and amounts.

THIS MUST STOP!!! How long more are we going to allow good Singaporean citizens to slowly poison themselves on orange juice and lemonade? How long more must we allow big evil corporations and comglomerates like Pizza Hut to reap profits by dealing with their pizzas laced with death? How long more must we dice with death every single time we decide to go to a bakery because they MIGHT use aspartame and aspartame degrades at a mere temperature of 85 degrees?

Yours faithfully,
Concerned Citizen using pseudo-science

I wonder if I could get it published in the ST or Today =P


At 9:23 PM, Blogger KnightofPentacles said...

It would be a real coup if you could get the local press to publish a letter warning of the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.

And not to forget the dangers of milk in increasing serious crime as well. After all.. research shows that 99% of all convicted felony criminals had consumed significant quantities of milk in their early childhood days.

At 12:13 AM, Blogger Shaun Lee said...

ROFL...ooh good one. But the water hoax been around for too long. The ST might run it as part of a survey if someone could persuade them of the merits of combatting pseudo-science.

The milk one is seriously cute though.


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